Newborns are remarkable. They arrive small, instinctive and full of needs that can feel huge, but behind every movement and every sound is a normal pattern that makes complete sense once you understand it.
Just like your first hours after birth, your baby’s first days are full of rapid change. Knowing what’s typical can bring confidence, reduce worry and help you settle into early parenthood with more calm and clarity.
Here, Independent Specialist Midwife Lara Taylor lists five things every parent should know about newborns.
1. Your newborn needs closeness. It’s biology, not habit.
One of the biggest surprises for many parents is how much their baby wants to be held. Not just sometimes, but often, most of the day and night. This isn’t a sign of ‘spoiling’ or creating habits. It’s how newborns stay regulated.
Your baby has spent months in the womb surrounded by warmth, movement, constant sound and continuous contact. Being placed into a quiet room, away from you, doesn’t feel natural to them. They feel safest on your chest, listening to your heartbeat and smelling your skin. The things they’ve known all along.
Closeness supports their breathing, temperature regulation, heart rate, stress levels and sense of safety. It also supports you. When you hold your baby, your body releases oxytocin, the hormone that reduces stress, supports milk production for those who choose to breastfeed and helps with physical healing.
If your baby doesn’t like being put down, nothing is wrong. They’re not learning a behaviour, they really are expressing a biological need.
2. Feeding little and often is completely normal
Parents often worry whether their newborn is feeding enough or too much, especially when cluster feeding begins. But newborn feeding rarely follows predictable patterns.
In the early days:
- Their tummy is tiny (around the size of a cherry on day one)
- They tire easily from birth
- They feed for hunger, comfort and regulation
- They may feed frequently in short bursts
- Cluster feeding is normal, often in late afternoon or evening
Whether breastfed, expressed or formula-fed, most newborns feed little and often. This helps stabilise their blood sugar, supports their transition from placental to stomach feeding and strengthens milk supply if breastfeeding.
Feeding cues can be subtle, turning their head, opening their mouth, or bringing hands to their face. Crying is usually a late cue. Responding early helps feeds feel calmer for everyone.
3. Newborn sleep is light, noisy and very different to ours.
Newborn sleep can take parents by surprise! Not because it’s bad, but because it’s biologically different.
Newborns spend most of their sleep in active sleep, a lighter stage where their brain is rapidly developing. During this phase, it’s completely normal for babies to:
- Grunt
- Squeak
- Make small movements
- Breathe irregularly
- Open their eyes briefly
None of these noises or movements mean they’re awake or unsettled. Because newborn sleep cycles are short, around 40–50 minutes, they naturally wake often.
This is totally normal, it’s protective and to be expected. It’s also why sleep training should not be considered in the fourth trimester.
Newborns are not neurologically ready to self-soothe or link sleep cycles. Expecting long stretches of independent sleep can place unnecessary pressure on everyone.
- Instead, think of newborn sleep as a shared process:
- Your baby feels safest sleeping close to you
- Contact naps and feeding to sleep are developmentally normal
- Night waking supports feeding, bonding and healthy development
Their circadian rhythm (the internal clock that distinguishes day from night) begins developing around 8-12 weeks. Before then, newborns sleep in short cycles across 24 hours. Your baby isn’t a bad sleeper. They’re a newborn and they’re doing exactly what they’re meant to do.
4. Crying is communication, not a reflection of your parenting
Newborns cry because it’s their only way to communicate, whether hunger, discomfort, tiredness, closeness, digestion or overstimulation.
Crying is not a sign of something you’ve done wrong, low milk supply, a “difficult” baby, a lack of bonding or poor settling skills. It’s simply how they express a need.
Your role isn’t to stop the crying immediately, but to respond to it. Over time you’ll begin to recognise patterns - the tired cry, the frustrated cry, the hunger cue before the cry, and things gradually will feel more familiar.
Some babies cry more than others. That reflects their physiology, not your ability. Your presence, your touch and your responsiveness are what make the difference.
5. You are part of your newborn’s regulation system
In the early weeks your baby can’t regulate their stress levels, emotions or nervous system alone.
They totally rely on you and you don’t need special skills to help them. Your voice, smell, warmth and breathing help them feel secure.
- When you hold them close, their heart rate settles.
- When you breathe slowly, they often begin to mirror you.
- When you speak softly, their stress hormones fall.
- Your presence is their regulation tool.
There is no expectation to parent perfectly, just to respond, connect and grow into your role at a pace that feels right for you.
The Heart of It All
Newborns are built to adapt, and that’s exactly what they’re doing. You aren’t expected to know everything, you’re learning.
The first days and weeks are about connection, recovery and understanding what’s truly normal so you can let go of unnecessary pressure.
Your baby doesn’t need perfection. They need you… calmly, gently and in your own time.
